Friday, 6 May 2016

Love is Pain

Chapter - 28. Love is Pain, page nos. 67-68 from my book "My Experience with TRUE LOVE...".

Somebody has rightly said, “Love is Pain”. Is it really? Yes
of course it is, somebody has not said it blindly rather after
experiencing it. Actually it is and it is not. First let‟s see
why love is not pain. I would like to use the concept of
spirituality to explain this. Love being a spiritual and it is
successful and complete when you realize the feelings of
love for somebody. It doesn‟t need to be both sided, when
you love someone special then you need not be loved back.
There is no expectation in love and due to lack of these
expectations, love is painless. This is because-
“Expectations are the root causes of all human sorrows”
–JMD
Actually what is sorrow? In first place it is non- fulfillment
of our expectations. So when our expectations are not met,
we are hurt, we are sad. So mantra for being happy in life is
to keep your expectations minimum. The spiritual theory of
love is very simple: You have feelings for somebody. You
just feel it, realize it and move on. That‟s all it needs. No
expectation no pain.
Now let‟s consider the other case- Love is Pain. As I
already said yes it is, I wouldn‟t move against the well said
statement by some other lover. No doubt Love is spiritual
but we are materialistic and so we have material nature.
Love (spiritual thing) need to be experienced through us
(material beings) so we couldn‟t get rid of the material
nature. Material nature simply means we do expect
something when we do something to others. That means
when I love somebody I expect to be loved back in the
same spirit. But unfortunately that‟s not possible in all the
cases and this is where pain arises in love. Our expectations
broke and we are hurt. More expectations, more the
probability of being hurt. I am loving her she must love me,
I am wishing her she must wish me, I am caring about her
she must care for me, I help her she must help me, I am
looking at her she must look back, etc. All these are
expectations which have probability to hurt you. Okay so
now question arises what to do? Should we expect or not?
In first place if you could reduce your expectations then
that would be the best case, just keep loving silently. In
second place yes you should expect, if your most generic
expectations are met in that case you are lucky you have
got the best partner otherwise just try to understand your
partner and if required compromise.
You might be thinking that throughout the book I kept
saying that love is spiritual and at the same time I talked
about my hurt feelings. So you already know the answer.
No doubt love is spiritual but after all my existence is
material. I had feelings for her and I expected her to have
feelings for me that was the source of hurt feelings for me
and like that.